Bethlett .

138 . What a year! The first 6 months where lived by a very angry hormonal mess! I’m pretty sure most people couldn’t wait to get away from me, I had zero tolerance for anything! So during this time we got new carpets and our bathroom redecorated and the second bedroom turned into a nursery, even though all these things were my idea, my goodness they added to the uncontrollable rage I seemed to have developed... Those first 6 months consisted of me wanting to buy every single baby related item I saw, baby scans and test and a belly that grew and grew to the point where I alternated 4 or 5 dresses I had as they where the only things that fit, and when they became too tight I ended up basically living in a maxi dress and pjs! Then June appeared, the month I became a mummy, a long 10 days later than I should have but anyway, 3 days of contractions followed by a 2 hour ‘active’ labour! At 16:22 on June 14th my life forever changed and I became a mummy! Amazing. The ...

125 . Well...Millie Rose Howlett arrived! The little miss was born at 16:22 on Wednesday 14th June 2017 weighing a solid 8lbs exact! And my god what a quick arrival she made!! Let's start from the beginning shall we? So on the Monday I woke up at half past 5 in the morning with pains in my thighs, I wondered if they were the beginning of labour but I held off calling the hospital because they were bearable and didn't have any routine to them plus I was seeing the midwife that morning for my second sweep so I really hoped she was going to say that it was starting...she said the opposite! She said nothing was happening, I still had a very long way to go and I'd more than likely be induced as I was 8 days over by this point anyway. After that appointment the pains stopped so I was sat thinking GREAT (in a very sarcastic fed up tone) but then they started again that afternoon stronger than the morning but still bearable. I did get my mum to come to my house because we ...

123 . So in a couple of hours or whenever you read this I have just entered my 35th week of pregnancy. Oh boy it's getting close now!! The third trimester has been my worst so far I think. I don't want to complain or moan because I know how truly blessed I am to be in this position however it's been tough!  I had always heard that when you get near the end you are just willing it along, and I always thought 'why?' Well for me I can't handle the stress I'm feeling and the horrendous mood I seem to always be in. I literally can not control it! I'm not a stressed person, I'm not an angry person (apart from when I'm tired) so these feelings are just very hard for me to deal with. I know I'm being a bitch but I can't stop it. I want to be my old chilled out self again!!!  I think what it is, is, I'm nesting, I want a list as long as my arm done and I want it done now! We've had our bathroom redecorated and that was the...

121 . So I'm currently 24 weeks and 4 days! Time is flying by. I feel like I've only been pregnant for 2 minutes and now we're not too far from the end result...our baby!  How is the second trimester going you ask? So far so good, there are changes that I'm noticing more and more but no matter how uncomfortable some may be I'm feeling really good. In my last post I wrote about how I was poorly, well touch wood I'm finally better, the double ear infection turned into tonsillitis, an illness I've not had since I was a kid! Another dose of 250mg antibiotics and I was soon back to myself only for a day to go by and my throat felt like razor blades again so another trip to the Drs. He refused me anymore antibiotics which I was so happy about to be honest and slowly each day it hurt less and less woohoo!! So I guess that's a change, a low immune system, as long as baby is okay I don't care, baby is life, colds and bugs and stuff are temporary.  What ...

I 120 . It's 2017, I'm currently lied on the sofa watching Tipping Point whilst fighting an awful cold and a double ear infection. They say, start as you mean to go on but I do not want 12 months of illnesses thank you very much!!!  I haven't written in a long time so you have no idea what is going on in my life, well....IM PREGNANT, currently mid way through my 18th week. My belly is growing, I'm feeling flickers and I'm truly happy.  The first trimester was not fun!! I didn't suffer with morning sickness but I did suffer from a complete lack of appetite, so much so I almost lost a stone in weight. Weight that I haven't yet gained back. I'm quite enjoying seeing and being able to feel my cheek bones for the first time ever if I'm totally honest with you but I'm aware it will be short lived as the pounds will soon be piling on.  So you might read that and think 'you said it wasn't fun? What happened?' Well I'll tell ya! WA...

118 . Change is a wonderful thing, change is a time for learning and growth. Change is positive, time to move on, time for a new adventure...change terrifies me!!!  This week I leave the job I have done for the last 4 and a half years. I leave the comfort of knowing what I do and that I do it well. I will put my uniform on for the last time before moving onto something new. A place with no uniform, a place where I'll know nothing, I'll know nobody. I'm starting a whole new chapter for my book which is my life. Am I ready? Not really, am I scared? You bet I am! Am I excited? ABSOLUTELY! The learning doesn't scare me, getting things a bit wrong doesn't scare me because that's to be expected. No way am I going into this knowing what I'll be doing. But I know that in time once a routine is together I'll be fine.  You all know I'm about routine, I'm a creature of habit so what scares me is that for a while I'll not really ha...

113 . I'm not used to this... Used to this feeling of things going well. I'm not trying to be a pessimist I promise. I just think I'm programmed to question when things start to go well for a while. My brain freaks out waiting for something to go tits up or not to plan.  I guess, well I guess I should explain. I have always grown up and taught myself to expect the worst but secretly hope for the best. I've found when I've mentioned things before they happen they fail and I end up disappointed. This has been the case since I was little so, yeah, I guess I've  programmed myself this way now. Sorry!   As most of you know the last few years have been tough. Even this year started out rough. But somehow, the universe has changed things around for me. I've had a very good positive two months!!  The luck started to change by being involved in a national charity campaign for MND which led to me being featured in the local paper, then during that...

75 . Your life is my saving grace There is nothing better than your tight embrace  My love for you is strong You my love, are my only one  I have nothing to offer you but my heart I hope to you, that's the most important part  Please continue to save me from myself  You stop me from lowering oneself  United together we stand tall You catch me and I catch you when we fall  I thank you greatly for being my happiness  Our future will forever be full of togetherness  ❤️ Much love Beth xxx

73 . Hello my loves, are you well? I'm very cold :( I felt like a midweek blog post I hope you don't mind :)  Why do we let others control our happiness? Why do we find it difficult to brush off strangers opinions? We all get pissed off with others everyday, sometimes being angry at someone can consume our day but we really shouldn't let it.  I try to tell myself and others not to let the opinion of those who mean nothing to my life, effect my life. Instead I feel it's important to let those who do mean a lot to me or effect my life positively, know. I will tell people that I think they are a lovely person. Sometimes it's nice to be nice for no other reason than just simply being nice.  I admit I'm crap at keeping in touch with people, I often get a little too wrapped up in my own stuff, don't we all? But I hope that people know I would always be there if they needed me to be. I feel a lot of us forget that there are people in our lives who w...

71. Good evening my loves, or good morning, or even good afternoon to whoever reads these posts. How are you? What have you been up to this weekend? I worked on Saturday and went to my Mums on Sunday and all I've done today is sit at the computer and watch YouTube videos. I've been scratched to heck by Logan (our kitten) he's nicely caught my face! God damn it! And now I am listening to old 90's music which thinking about it a lot of it was quite depressing! BUT very very good. LOVE 90's music. I had every intention this evening to make buns but my mood has slowly but surely become lower and lower as the evening has progressed, I am having an evening of low confidence and a want to be very honest and open with you loves, but I think if I do that I will regret it. So lets just see what my brain and fingers end up typing shall we? PARKLIFE BY BLUR HAS COME ON!!! DANCE WITH ME!! *cough* sorry about that. it's just a great song! Loves, I'm p...

67 . Good evening my loves, lying here in my bed, it seems to be the new location for the posts lately. And I'm feeling very inspired to write to you, at the minute I'm having feelings of really enjoying my blog. I've always enjoyed my blog but sometimes when I see the posts being viewed I feel like WOO I'm maybe helping someone today with my words.  I recently watched Tom Fletcher's video on YouTube about inspiration and previous to that I had seen Jack Howard's video too and although I'm not a vlogger I felt inspired to write a little post about what it means to me. My take on it you may say.  I get very inspired by music, listening to music can take my mind into so many different creative spaces and avenues. Music sets my imagination free. I once wrote a whole script (not a very good one) just by playing the same song over and over because it some how got my mind moving.  Music is a chain reaction, that artist the music belongs too ...

62. Hello my loves, I can't believe we are nearing the end of June already! Jeez I believe next month ive been writing to you for a year, my goodness how much things have changed in a year. I don't think I've realised the changes in previous years much before to be honest, not until I started documenting my life to you have the changes become so apparent in my mind! What changes have you gone through since last July my loves? I pray they were mainly positive ones.  I can tell you what hasn't changed much in a year and that's my taste in music! Im currently listening to the song Future by Paramore and it's got me a thinking it has!  It's got me thinking about that age old question we get asked multiple times in our lives 'where do you see yourself in 5 years time?' We have been asking this question to each other since school but back then it was more 'what do you want to be when your older?' Throughout our lives we are forever having...

61. First of all, I know it's been awhile. I've turned quite rubbish at this blogging shizniz! But oh well I'm here now so lets start... Hello my loves, oh loves I'm not listening to anything while I write this, I'm merely just sitting here with only the light from the computer screen to spur me on to write to you all. I have TWO things to say in this blog... Remember months a go when I wrote a blog titled 'This fat chicks gotta get fit'? well I never got fit BUT today (Sunday 14/06/15) I COMPLETED THE 10K!!!!!!!!! I walked the full thing, I've never ran before so I would have been stupid to think I could have ran today. Granted I was right at the back I did it, I got involved in something I would have NEVER of done before.  Some of you may think 'meh it's only 10K' but believe me loves, that's a huge deal to me, zero confident me!! I saw people I knew and I still cracked on with it. There where moments as I was walking along wher...

46. Although there are many hours still left in today, we are in our final hours of 2014. I imagine for a lot of people during these hours will be making numerous 'New Year resolutions' that no one sticks too and many thoughts reflecting back on what we have and haven't done this last year.  For me 2014 started with the best memory I will cherish forever, my wedding day :D on the 10th January I married my best friend, the most amazingly wonderful man who I love so so much. It was a very cold day, Rob was very poorly but it was the greatest day of my life. My Dad walked me down the isle and that is something that is so very special to me.  <3 In July I started this blog, which I love. It helps me and I hope it can help others. With this blog I don't have to pretend who I am or how I am feeling, which is something I do daily. Through this blog I have connected with some wonderful people, family members from Canada and Devon who I never even knew a...

44. My dear dear loves, its FOUR days till Christmas, I think this may be my last blog before Christmas, I'm undecided if it will be my last blog of December though, I think I'll write one more after this then that's me done for 2014!! I am currently listening to McBusted, I bloody love this band!! I loved Busted back in the day then instantly fell in love with Mcfly when they rocked up so this combination is just awesome!! Rob won't take me to see them though and that makes me so so sad. Everyone go tell him he needs to take me to their tour please.  Anyway, fancy an update on my life? Yes you say? Well okay then... I never updated you guys about my dizziness, after seeing the Neurologist and realising that although my brain is pretty simple it's actually perfectly fine and is not  causing the dizziness. He did say that the theory on it being caused by strong lighting is a possibility but he couldn't say because he's not an eye specialist. After lea...

                10/01/2014 Was the greatest day of my life! <3