Bethlett .

88 . I wake up everyday and I fight an irrational fear that lives at the back of my mind. Some days the fight is a tough one, it turns me into a mess. Other days I seem to be calm enough to not let it bother me. But it's always there. I have an irrational phobia to something people wouldn't even think about, but it's more common than you'd think. It makes me cry, it makes me itch, it makes me want to run away. And sometimes, only sometimes it makes me not want to fight it anymore, it makes me think it's about to win.  It's hard to explain what it does to me, how it makes me feel. The only way I can explain it is imagine you are trapped in a room that has no doors, no escape and you are with your greatest fear, whether that be a spider or a clown. Just imagine that. How scary would that be? Now imagine that feeling you would feel, imagine feeling that feeling multiple times a day, every single day of your life. I know it sounds dramatic but that'...

61. First of all, I know it's been awhile. I've turned quite rubbish at this blogging shizniz! But oh well I'm here now so lets start... Hello my loves, oh loves I'm not listening to anything while I write this, I'm merely just sitting here with only the light from the computer screen to spur me on to write to you all. I have TWO things to say in this blog... Remember months a go when I wrote a blog titled 'This fat chicks gotta get fit'? well I never got fit BUT today (Sunday 14/06/15) I COMPLETED THE 10K!!!!!!!!! I walked the full thing, I've never ran before so I would have been stupid to think I could have ran today. Granted I was right at the back I did it, I got involved in something I would have NEVER of done before.  Some of you may think 'meh it's only 10K' but believe me loves, that's a huge deal to me, zero confident me!! I saw people I knew and I still cracked on with it. There where moments as I was walking along wher...

60. Good evening loves, how are you? I'm good thank you, I'm currently sat here with wet hair listening to a song I heard on Catfish The TV Show, its called Over by a band called Johnnyswim, it's a bit depressing really but nice at the same time. I know I'm weird and I have weird taste in music but oh well in the words of Shirley Bassey I am who I am. I wanted to write to you today to tell you about the walk I did yesterday (Sunday) myself and others from work plus Rob and our friend, we all joined in with the Humber Bridge Walk, some of you may remember we did this walk last year and it was great. This time was no different, it was fabtab!! I loved seeing the sea of blue everyone was in, I've never liked the colour more!! Oh loves I wish we could all get together and walk it together, or walk something greater that would be pretty lovely! There we are look :) doing our bit. There were a lot of people there, lots of children and dogs. It felt like a prop...

Dear you, The person reading this, someone who may be fighting, someone who might be caring or simply someone curious. My name is Beth Aboe-Howlett, I'm 24 years young (ignore the wrinkles) I'm writing this to encourage you, I'm writing this to share the pain and understand how you feel. I am not a fighter, I'm the daughter of someone who fought, but sadly the battle was too strong. This only happened a few months ago and I feel okay. My life has changed dramatically, I don't think anything prepares you for when you lose a parent but my life must carry on and I must grow from it. This is why I'm writing you this letter, to encourage you to enjoy your life, no matter how long you have or how difficult it will be at times. We must live our lives to create them. If you are reading this and you are struggling, with anything going on right now please believe me that things don't remain this bad forever, even in the shittiest of situations like my Dad, where...