Bethlett .

114. I was inspired today, inspired by a video by a Youtuber called Tessa Violet. Her video featured another Youtuber, who I'm slowly becoming obsessed with called Dodie Clark. Both are beautiful musicians who I'd recommend highly to you all.  Anyway, they recently made a video together called 'why I don't get excited' on Tessa's channel and I watched it and so much of it resonated to me. I'd quite like you to just watch the video yourself rather than me explain it. It's not mine to explain.  One thing that stuck out was when Tessa says 'I refuse to feel excited about anything until it's happening' when she said this I thought 'wow, it's not just me who feels this way'...let me explain. I hate, okay hate is a strong word, I highly dislike allowing myself to get excited about plans, ideas etc because I feel like if I do they won't happen. Something will pop up and stop whatever it is before it's due to happ...

110. Do you ever want to write a letter. Not to anyone in particular. To a random address, a random person, just to see what would happen. Would they read it? Would they reply? Who knows.  People don't write letters anymore, everything is so easy with social media. I understand, why wait for a long time for a reply when you can receive one instantly? You can talk to someone on the other side of the world freely with zero issues, well apart from the occasional dip in Internet signal.  I remember being young and always wanting post from the postman, I never had anyone to send me a letter or a postcard but when a school friend would go on holiday and send me something in the post I loved it. It seemed so exciting. Now the only post I get is bills, and they are never exciting.  Can you imagine writing to a complete stranger? Ha isn't that what I'm doing right now? But in all seriousness, when a stranger gives us a compliment, a random smile as you walk pa...

95 . There's something about this time of year I don't like. Everything looks grey, maybe that's because of the rain, causing the ground and the trees to look darker. I always feel this time of year looks 'untidy'.  It feels like there's a lot of pressure this time of year. A lot of people set these goals in their minds for what they would love to do and achieve but the realisation that anything worth doing takes time can feel overwhelming. I think we sometimes forget that not everything in life is instant. Memories and achievements stem from work. Hard work, that in the end is something to be proud of. That feeling of accomplishment is something we all love to feel.  The dull days of January can make it difficult to remain focused. The cold days are boring. Why venture into the chill when we can be warm in front of the tele?  And then, before we know it a month or two has gone by.  That's why I don't like this time of year muc...

94 . I desperately want to write but I have nothing to write about. It's like my brain is teasing me, it desperately wants me to write something inspiring, something for me to be proud of but its not giving me the creativity and inspiration I need to actually write. Thinking about it though, I don't believe I will ever be proud of something I have written because if I was then maybe, just maybe I'd think there was no point to write anymore. I'd have nothing to push myself towards. But right now, I just want something to write about. I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs, I'm completely racking my brain and all I can think about is how terrible my handwriting is. Pointless when this is on a computer screen... You see I don't want to constantly write about sad things. Even though this is my outlet I just don't want to read these back one day and only see negativity. But with how this batch of writers block is going I may have no choice. This year I ...

93 . We spend so much time looking to the future we're missing today. By the time the future arrives it becomes history.  Create a daily goal and achieve it. That way you're not missing the present. Much love Xx

85. Are we truly seeing what is in front of us? Are we seeing the beauty in it?  I pass these fields each week during my forty minute bus journey from one place to another. They catch my eye each time. My music playing so loudly in my ears it seems to take over, causing my thoughts to go into overdrive about the depths of what life is, what my life is etc. I look at the fields that go on for miles and miles, and in the distance there is a whole city. Where thousands of people are. It's not until I look out at the fields I realise that we are the ants of this earth. Tiny beings surrounded by the chaos.  The fields are calming. To some they are only fields, those people are right, they are only fields. But if you really look, just stop one day and look out they show more than you would ever imagine. If you allow them too.  They show me that things aren't always so crazy. Not everything causes my mind to become busy and lost in the mist. They show me t...

83. It's strange how I sit here and write whatever my brain creates in the moment of writing to possibly absolutely no one. These posts reach an empty space on the Internet and who knows if people read them each time I press publish or whether people think 'not another one' and turn away from them.  I have zero plans for direction when I write, the words seem to just appear on the screen. It's probably obvious that this is my style of writing isn't it? My thoughts change route as I type. All I know is that something is in my mind and it wants to leave. It doesn't want to stick around. It niggles at me until I type words to release them from the empty space that's my mind. I don't know if people take the words on board, I don't know if people can relate. I get very little feedback. But that doesn't bother me. I don't write for feedback. I write because the words want to be gone.  Writing is my escape from life, it's my pocket o...

80. Dear Autumn, It's nice to have you here again The coldness of your breath The brightness of your falling leaves So magical in their death Dear Autumn, You weep your tears so publicly For all of us to feel Although we frown at naked trees   We wish for you to heal Dear Autumn, The pink skies that you wake us with May be a shepherds warning I ask you with hasted breath  Please keep them to bring the dawn in Dear Autumn, As we say goodbye to your sister summer With rain and clouds and sometimes thunder  We welcome you with warmth and laughter  With the blankets to fill our families under Dear Autumn, You bring us closer to the end of the year  Our days past with love and fear As we reflect to see how far we've come I'll enjoy you Autumn, you're my favourite one 

71. Good evening my loves, or good morning, or even good afternoon to whoever reads these posts. How are you? What have you been up to this weekend? I worked on Saturday and went to my Mums on Sunday and all I've done today is sit at the computer and watch YouTube videos. I've been scratched to heck by Logan (our kitten) he's nicely caught my face! God damn it! And now I am listening to old 90's music which thinking about it a lot of it was quite depressing! BUT very very good. LOVE 90's music. I had every intention this evening to make buns but my mood has slowly but surely become lower and lower as the evening has progressed, I am having an evening of low confidence and a want to be very honest and open with you loves, but I think if I do that I will regret it. So lets just see what my brain and fingers end up typing shall we? PARKLIFE BY BLUR HAS COME ON!!! DANCE WITH ME!! *cough* sorry about that. it's just a great song! Loves, I'm p...

67 . Good evening my loves, lying here in my bed, it seems to be the new location for the posts lately. And I'm feeling very inspired to write to you, at the minute I'm having feelings of really enjoying my blog. I've always enjoyed my blog but sometimes when I see the posts being viewed I feel like WOO I'm maybe helping someone today with my words.  I recently watched Tom Fletcher's video on YouTube about inspiration and previous to that I had seen Jack Howard's video too and although I'm not a vlogger I felt inspired to write a little post about what it means to me. My take on it you may say.  I get very inspired by music, listening to music can take my mind into so many different creative spaces and avenues. Music sets my imagination free. I once wrote a whole script (not a very good one) just by playing the same song over and over because it some how got my mind moving.  Music is a chain reaction, that artist the music belongs too ...