Bethlett .

116. Today I'm feeling down, I'm not sure why, nothing has happened its just the feeling today has brought me. I wrote a post yesterday that I thought may make sense to someone but I feel like maybe it's come across wrong. Then as I was trying to fall to sleep I wrote another post because my mind wouldn't let me rest until I did. And today I've woke like this. All connected? Maybe so. Sometimes you just feel sad. I think today I'm allowing myself to feel certain emotions, I'm feeling grief and I'm feeling guilt. Grief for those who has passed, someone close passed recently and I only shed a few tears. I'm slowly realising that holding back tears for a long time is maybe making lose the ability all together. Of course that's not fully true, I can cry, I will cry but it seems that the moments I should cry a thousand tears I only cry a few.  Anyway I don't want to write about that stuff today. I just wanted to say I've set up an email,...

96. I usually write these posts the same way, I seem to find the words to write whilst I'm on the bus to work. I don't know why because it's just a simple bus journey. The same faces everyday no one speaks but those who are couples or friends. The bus journey is our little bubble I guess.  I look out the windows to the same green fields and dark trees, sometimes I spot something new which catches my eye. I often wonder where each of these people are going. Are they going home or just starting their day like me? Is this bus journey the quietest part of their day? Their mini escape from the blur that the actions of the day causes. I have no idea. But I like that, I can create a story in my mind for the strangers around me. I hope their days are positive and joyous. In my mind their lives are perfect. Maybe they try to think that too. Even if it is just for the 20 minute bus journey.  The truth is I'll never know these people, we'll more than likely ne...

61. First of all, I know it's been awhile. I've turned quite rubbish at this blogging shizniz! But oh well I'm here now so lets start... Hello my loves, oh loves I'm not listening to anything while I write this, I'm merely just sitting here with only the light from the computer screen to spur me on to write to you all. I have TWO things to say in this blog... Remember months a go when I wrote a blog titled 'This fat chicks gotta get fit'? well I never got fit BUT today (Sunday 14/06/15) I COMPLETED THE 10K!!!!!!!!! I walked the full thing, I've never ran before so I would have been stupid to think I could have ran today. Granted I was right at the back I did it, I got involved in something I would have NEVER of done before.  Some of you may think 'meh it's only 10K' but believe me loves, that's a huge deal to me, zero confident me!! I saw people I knew and I still cracked on with it. There where moments as I was walking along wher...

37. Hello my loves :D it's been a week, I'm sorry I haven't wrote to you guys since then, have you enjoyed the little 'break'? I've just been working so I haven't been filling my days with adventures to tell you all about, I so wish I had been that would have been AMAZING!  Right I'm listening to...One Direction, now, stay with me a moment please. I've never bought an album of theirs before, I've not been overly fond of their songs but when I heard Steal My Girl, well, they've converted me and I bought their new album Four...the deluxe version. I LOVE IT!!! I can't compare it to their previous albums because I've not heard them but yeah, I love this one. Don't be thinking I'm going to become 1D mad by the way! Let's say 'I'm going through a phase'. The second thing I've bought and love is the book The Rosie Effect by Graeme Simsion. I'm not a huge reader of books but I read The Rosie Project...

36. Hi lovelies, just wanted to say sorry if you read blog 35, I've been struggling to sleep so I was super tired and miserable. HOWEVER I filmed my Dad yesterday for a few seconds and it just makes me smile because he's laughing and smiling and I wanted to share that with you :) A lot of you ask about my Dad, about how he is doing etc and I update you all in person and through my blog and it never really sounds too positive but when I see him we laugh so much over nothing and this is prime example of that :) <3 Much love Beth xx p.s to leave a comment just select the name/URL option in the drop down menu :) 

32. Hello my loves. I keep thinking it's Sunday today, I don't know why but I get happy when I realise it's only Saturday. I just wanna talk to you guys tonight, I want to express any thoughts that pop into my head so I have no idea how this blog is gonna go.  First of all though, I'm listening to a band called Mallory Knox - Shout at the Moon, I heard their song on Kerrang radio this afternoon and loved it. I will probably change songs while writing this because I really want to listen to Damien Rice for some reason. Check them both out, my music taste isn't all bad I swear.  I have realised this week that I really can't express myself in the correct way to people. If I'm upset or angry about something I would much prefer to live with those emotions for however long they stick around for, rather than actually saying out loud that 'this is the way I'm feeling and you are a part of that'. I am far more worried about that persons feelin...

31. HEY EVERYONE :D  Sooo the last two blogs have been slightly different, most of you won't have seen blog 30 because I didn't post it on Facebook or Twitter because I just didn't think most of you would be interested, but by all means take a look if you want too :)  I'm not actually listening to music tonight, I'm watching YouTube videos (I'm obsessed!) because I was in Watford last night and didn't have internet, I couldn't watch the vids I watch so now I'm trying to catch up on yesterdays and today's YES I'M OBSESSED!!  Anyhoo... Wednesday of this week was the 5th November which is bonfire night :D my favourite night of the year. Bonfire night used to scare me a lot because of all the loud noises from the fireworks but now I absolutely love them. I find if I hear them throughout the year I try to see which direction they are from just so I can sit and watch in awe.                    Thank you Robby for...

26. We meet again my loves, how ya diddling? I'm good, I have two weeks off work now :D nothing major is planned...oh wait HARRY POTTER STUDIOS and bonfire night, I love bonfire night, the magic of the fireworks and sparklers is just so beautiful. I will definitely try and get some pictures of the fireworks and sparklers of the bonfire I'm planning on going too.  Is it just in the UK we celebrate bonfire night?  I'm currently listening Marmozets - Captivate You, I've heard this band quite a lot on Kerrang radio and just love this song, it gets me bouncing around in my seat. I downloaded their album and it's pretty belting I have to say! It was on repeat everyday this past week on the bus, a definite boost before work.  I don't know if I told you guys that my Dads best friend, Steve, contacted Arsenal (my Dad is obsessed) and explained his situation and how much he loves the team and always has done, and they wrote him back to say they would send Dad...

20. Hello my loves, it's been about a week now, I've been working everyday trying to get more money so me and Rob can save for a house! Please forgive me for the distance. I made the 20 extra big because I think it's cool that this is my 20th blog :) and you've all stuck by and read the thoughts from my brain no matter how dull or weird they are, you have read them, you're reading them right now (if you haven't closed the webpage down by now anyway) I am listening to Alexisonfire again, but I'm listening to their 2009 album Old Crows/Young Cardinals. I'm miming along and air drumming...yes I'm an air drummer!! I like to think that one day my air drumming skills will be put to the test and we will all discover that I'm a fantastic drummer! My uncle Ronnie was a fill in drummer for the band Nazareth, at least I think he was, I know he was their lighting guy, again I could be wrong. I was very young when I got told this information, anyway tha...

15. Well my loves, what a morning!! First though I'm listening to Mike Dignam - Beautiful Tragedy, I think I have mentioned this song in a previous blog, I'm not totally sure but it's a very strong, beautiful song I love it. Why not listen to this song while reading this blog?  I'm happy, I'm full of pride and overwhelmed with emotion to be honest. Today I took part in my first ever charity walk, I took part in the Humber Bridge MND walk. Myself, Rob, my work colleagues Sue, Audrey and Shell, Audrey's brother in law Andy, their friend Ed and Shell's daughter Keeley all got together this morning to do this walk.  I saw on Facebook that this event was happening around 2/3 weeks ago and automatically decided I needed to do it and when I shared the event to my friends I never expected anyone to want to join me, so for my work friends and their family members to want to do this with us really made me happy. I never knew what to expect or what to do bu...

14. I just want to start off by saying I feel Sam Smith is a beautiful singer and song writer, his songs resonate with so many people just like Adele's 21 album. I love listening to his songs and singing a long to them, but I will never inflect that ear pain to you my loves. I just want to update you on things with me, what I've been up too etc.  First of all, I have completed my first booklet to my dementia course and posted it off to my assessor, I'm just waiting to see if there are many changes I have to make to my answers. I took my time getting started on it, I think I answered 12 questions out of 29 in the first two weeks, I have four weeks to complete the first book. So on Sunday 31st of August I put my head phones on blasted music from Paramore, A Day To Remember and Alexisonfire (very different music to what you all may know me to like, but I've love that style of music since I was 15) and got the book finished :) Fingers crossed for me please lovely'...