23.
Well, hello my loves! My last two blogs have been a little different, I posted one without putting it on Twitter or Facebook because it was just a spur of the moment poem thing, not a very good poem! and my last blog I wrote because I was feeling a bit shitty about things so I thought I would target that blog to what makes me feel shitty and that is MND.
The response from my last blog 'My letter to MND' has been a bit mad really! So many of you have read it which makes me so incredibly happy and the comments I have received have all been so supportive and lovely, I thank you for that! <3
I am currently listening to Jessie Ware - Say You Love Me and the song Heart Like Yours from the movie If I Stay, both beautiful songs that I have been slightly hooked on this whole week. I urge you to listen to them :) Can I just ask, do any of you find a song that you love and listen to it on repeat until you realise you're not actually listening any more? And then you find a new song and do the same thing again and again? I do this all the time! If I could work for a radio station I think I'd have my ultimate dream job, such a shame I have a dull Yorkshire accent - some of us can sound very monotone from time to time, but I wouldn't wanna come from anywhere else :)
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I've had a pretty crappy week if I'm honest with you all, at the beginning of the week I spent five hours in Hull Royal Hospital with my dad, he fell off an exercise bike at physio and cracked his head open, thankfully he was fine, he had a ct scan and it was fine and he didn't need any stitches or glue. But seeing him in possibly the most vulnerable state I've seen him in was pretty hard to deal with, and continuously trying to explain why he had to stay there for five hours was all a bit mentally draining. I'm just glad that he was okay and there have been no bad affects from the fall.
I've had a bad week with my anxiety, now that the seasons have changed all the winter bugs come out and everyone gets ill, I feel like I have been surrounded by ill people all week and it's really weighed me down. People don't understand how straining it is mentally, constantly checking with myself who has touched the same objects I have and how many times I have washed my hands or put hand sanitiser on. Its been hell! Please tell me at least one of you understand how I've been feeling? Please...
I have reached the end of the week and I feel very emotional, I feel very down and as if I want a good cry. I haven't seen my dad today as I am seeing him tomorrow but I feel like I just don't wanna face it, I don't want to see him poorly this week. I know I sound awful, I sound like a selfish bitch but I think sometimes we all need to kinda recharge our batteries and after how I've been feeling all week and still feel now I don't want to start a new week the same way.
I need a hug...I need a friend
I'm sorry this blog hasn't been up beat, it hasn't involved anything remotely interesting but This Is ME
I do have some good news, so far I have raised £116 for the 10K I am doing in June :) my goal is still £500 and I will pop the link below just in case any of you are feeling lovely and generous after reading my very debbiedowner blog.
Much love
Beth xx
p.s to leave a comment just select the name/url option in the drop down
https://www.justgiving.com/B-Aboe-Howlett/
Well, hello my loves! My last two blogs have been a little different, I posted one without putting it on Twitter or Facebook because it was just a spur of the moment poem thing, not a very good poem! and my last blog I wrote because I was feeling a bit shitty about things so I thought I would target that blog to what makes me feel shitty and that is MND.
The response from my last blog 'My letter to MND' has been a bit mad really! So many of you have read it which makes me so incredibly happy and the comments I have received have all been so supportive and lovely, I thank you for that! <3
I am currently listening to Jessie Ware - Say You Love Me and the song Heart Like Yours from the movie If I Stay, both beautiful songs that I have been slightly hooked on this whole week. I urge you to listen to them :) Can I just ask, do any of you find a song that you love and listen to it on repeat until you realise you're not actually listening any more? And then you find a new song and do the same thing again and again? I do this all the time! If I could work for a radio station I think I'd have my ultimate dream job, such a shame I have a dull Yorkshire accent - some of us can sound very monotone from time to time, but I wouldn't wanna come from anywhere else :)
I've had a pretty crappy week if I'm honest with you all, at the beginning of the week I spent five hours in Hull Royal Hospital with my dad, he fell off an exercise bike at physio and cracked his head open, thankfully he was fine, he had a ct scan and it was fine and he didn't need any stitches or glue. But seeing him in possibly the most vulnerable state I've seen him in was pretty hard to deal with, and continuously trying to explain why he had to stay there for five hours was all a bit mentally draining. I'm just glad that he was okay and there have been no bad affects from the fall.
I've had a bad week with my anxiety, now that the seasons have changed all the winter bugs come out and everyone gets ill, I feel like I have been surrounded by ill people all week and it's really weighed me down. People don't understand how straining it is mentally, constantly checking with myself who has touched the same objects I have and how many times I have washed my hands or put hand sanitiser on. Its been hell! Please tell me at least one of you understand how I've been feeling? Please...
I have reached the end of the week and I feel very emotional, I feel very down and as if I want a good cry. I haven't seen my dad today as I am seeing him tomorrow but I feel like I just don't wanna face it, I don't want to see him poorly this week. I know I sound awful, I sound like a selfish bitch but I think sometimes we all need to kinda recharge our batteries and after how I've been feeling all week and still feel now I don't want to start a new week the same way.
I need a hug...I need a friend
I'm sorry this blog hasn't been up beat, it hasn't involved anything remotely interesting but This Is ME
I do have some good news, so far I have raised £116 for the 10K I am doing in June :) my goal is still £500 and I will pop the link below just in case any of you are feeling lovely and generous after reading my very debbiedowner blog.
Much love
Beth xx
p.s to leave a comment just select the name/url option in the drop down
https://www.justgiving.com/B-Aboe-Howlett/
Sending you the bloody biggest hug I can find.
ReplyDeleteKeep that pretty chin up xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx