Just a bit about me mum :)

19.

Hello my loves, how are you? I'm actually writing this on a different day to when I have published it. I don't want to bombard you with blogs constantly but when an idea comes into my head I just want to express it with you, because we're friends. But also because I needed my mum's approval before publishing this one.

I'm currently listening to 505 by Arctic Monkeys, an older song of theirs that I have only just discovered but I love it. I like their new stuff but I feel they have lost the bit of Sheffield edge that they had, just normal everyday lads playing good music in a band. I don't love the new look they have or attitude that comes with it but I'm still a fan of the music, so I highly recommend listening to some of their stuff, old and new. 

I'm sat here and I don't know why but I just wanted to write about personal demons that people have, that everybody has. Previously I have wrote about my anxieties, my fears, my dad's illness. I've wrote real stuff and I know a few people have wanted me to write about my Mum because I have mentioned her when I get upset etc but I've not told you anything about her or our relationship. 

That's her, Jean a.k.a Mum and yes, she really is that small, smaller actually because she was wearing heels that day. We look nothing a like and our personalities clash sometimes but she's always there when I need her, even if she does have to stand on a chair to console me when I'm crying (tall girl problems). 

My Mum battles a lot with herself, she had to raise 3 children by herself, all under the age of 10, can't have been easy, I'm sure any single parents reading this who have one child can understand the difficulty she must have faced. If any of us do something stupid that we maybe shouldn't have done she always blames herself. I tell her time and time again that whatever we do is our decision, it will reflect badly on us, not her parenting skills. She's a fantastic mum, and a fantastic person. I wish she knew how great she is.

She is an incredibly strong individual! She has battled with personal demons most of her life but she continues showing them what's what and who's in charge, and that is her. I admire her. I admire how well she keeps it together when shit gets bad. I'm realising now how difficult it must have been when both her parents where ill at the same time, with how hard I find it with my dad but I don't have children, I don't have responsibilities that have to come before my emotions, when I'm angry I'm a bitch to anyone in sight, but she wasn't, not that I can remember anyway, she got on with it.

Like me she can struggle with anxiety, she's a nervous nelly if I'm completely honest but it doesn't hold her back, my anxieties stop me from doing things, I end up wishing I took part in stuff when I had the chance but she just does them, even if she really doesn't want to, she pushes herself too and proves to me that you have a better time when you take part rather than standing on the side lines all the time. 

We are quite similar but also very different. We are both very opinionated, we hate the idea of social events but love them when they happen, she worries a lot more than I do although I worry about things that aren't very realistic so maybe we are the same on that one too, we both have self confidence issues. We definitely do NOT have the same taste in music or films, and sometimes things I say make no sense to her what so ever (I have a tendency to tell people pointless information that I find fascinating) but we both have a love for reality TV. 

My mum is one of my best friends, my mum is my inspiration. 

Stuff like anxiety, depression or any other struggles people can face, they are not weaknesses. They are constant battles people have to face everyday. We shouldn't judge those who suffer with these, we should help them. There shouldn't be the stigma that there is and the stereotype in our minds of what people 'look' like who battle these day after day. 

We all have stuff some people manage to keep on top of it better than others.  

Much love

Beth xx

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p.p.s everything I write is merely my opinion, they come from my brain