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Anxiety, Nasty people and weird old me!!

17.

Hey there you lovely folks! How are you? All good I hope, I just looked at my previous blog and realised it was over a week ago since I've blogged!! I give you permission to tell me off about it next time any of you see me (don't be too harsh though please) The reason for the no blog is because I've worked everyday since Tuesday, and today (Sunday) I've been with my Dad, Rob, Jack, Emma and then saw my Mama for a little bit :) so this is the only moment I've had enough time to sit and talk to you all. By the way, would you like me to write about my Mum one day? She's very adorable!

I know I usually give you the song I'm currently listening too but tonight it's an album, I'm listening to the new Paramore album, even though it's been out over a year now :/ it's pretty different to their older music but as bands grow older their music changes slightly, I still love it so it's all good. Paramore can the next album be a bit more heavier though please? Thank you, big fan <3 

I've been really poorly this week, I've sounded like a man all week because of this blasted cold. I had two days of snot related issues and five days of cough related issues *cries* <---- that's where you feel slightly sorry for me. Thankfully though today I'm feeling better, I still have this chesty cough, whatever a 'chesty' cough is, but I'm no longer a miserable sod or being quiet or quite snappy towards people...okay I lie, I shouted at someone today then cried about it.

My anxiety has been playing up a bit this week, while I've been on the bus, usually at the same spot I get this sudden feeling of 'oh my god' and feel so tense and I sigh a lot to try and kinda release the tension I guess. It doesn't last that long but it's pretty horrible to feel everyday. I don't know what causes it and I don't know how to figure out what it is that causes it either because it just happens suddenly. Maybe it's all the people on the bus? If any of you have tips on how to cope with it while its happening I would really appreciate it, I know I can Google tips but I think tips would be better from those who know more about me.

This week I have also realised that me writing this blog and pretty much spilling my brain to you guys sets me up for people to latch onto my weaknesses and exploit them, to try and test me I think. I just want to say that I write my blog to help others who struggle in similar ways to myself, to many other people those struggles may seem like nothing but to us they are everything!! And it's very sad that some people see those and use them in a negative way towards us for their own benefit. I'm sure those who do this wouldn't like it if we did it to them. Nastiness gets you no where!! 

Also in the week that is my life I have realised that I'm a MESS at speaking to people. I think my brain sometimes works too fast for my mouth or my mouth moves to fast for the words to come out right, it's just a fumble sometimes! I go to say words and just a mass of blar appears, the people I'm talking too look at me like 'WTF' I try my best to brush it off as if it's nothing, like it's their ears that have heard me wrong (I think my red cheeks give it away though). While talking to me I urge you to just go along with whatever mumble fumble I say and act as if you understand and please take no notice of my arms when they flap around the air, because that doesn't make the situation more awkward now does it? Honestly guys, it's a miracle that I have people speaking to me on a regular basis.  

After Tuesday I have the week off :D what shall I do? BOWLING! I HAVE to go bowling! Would anyone like to join me?? You pay for yourself though, lets just get that cleared up! I think I really need to see two very good friends of mine, both I haven't seen for months because life just does that sometimes. Hopefully they will want to see me :)

Keep your heads strong my loves! Keep those smiles on your faces and know that you are never alone in this world because we have each other! 





Much love
Beth xx

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Comments

  1. Enjoy your week off Beth, have fun and relax. You deserve to! Xxx

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