The London lot came to visit and let's fund raise!!

41.

Hello my loves, I haven't been very well all this weekend and I'm still unwell now, I've spent most of the day in bed with zero energy and feeling crappy but I wanted to write to you all because I haven't in a while. 

How are all of you feeling? Many of you been struck down with the winter cold like I have? How are your Christmas plans going? My nephew turns one tomorrow and my niece turns eight on the 19th, where does the time go??!! For Ellie she's going into exciting times because I think from the age of eight that's when you have more solid memories of things, you begin to understand life a bit more and everything is amazingly interesting at that age. It's quite beautiful really isn't it?

This weekend my Auntie and Uncles came up from down south and Germany to see my Dad. It was the first time since my wedding in January they have all been together and it was really nice to see them all. I only saw them very briefly but it was nice. They arrived on Sunday whilst I was at my mums, I had spent a couple of hours with Dad before going to my Mum's but told him I'd pop back once they got there to say hello. I was worried because the deterioration is quite something now! Sunday he struggled to speak, the words that were clear enough to understand weren't understandable at all because they were just random words and I wasn't sure how that may have made them feel, seeing their brother like this now. It's difficult for me and I see him weekly, I can't quite imagine how it felt to them. 

Although the change must have been somewhat of a shock there were no tears, none from Dad which is always a good thing and none from them, to my knowledge anyway, which is also a good thing because although it's sad, that time was special and special times are best to be cherished in the most positive way that's possible. 

You can really tell they are related can't you!!

I realised this Sunday just how much I love my Dad, walking into his tiny room with all five of them squished in there and him looking at me with a huge smile was wonderful. He is like a little boy version of himself. You just want to protect him and make sure he's happy and okay, and he is happy. He's happy when he has laughter and smiles around him. 

I don't know what 'stage' my Dad is at with his illness, I've asked the question but get a vague reply because it's so difficult to tell. All I know is that his swallowing now is bad and his breathing isn't the best so if any of my MND family can share a tiny bit of info on this please send me a message. 

I've been thinking lately that I need to do more for MND, I just don't know where to start. My friend at work Beci has said she will paint pictures and sell them and the money collected to be given to MND which is just so nice and kind of her to offer something like that. I think I need a little team of people so we can brainstorm and come up with good ways of raising money. I don't want to grow older knowing I would have lost my Dad to such an awful disease and realise I never did anything to try and stop other people losing their loved ones through MND. I just don't know where to start!

Lets think of things :)

Much love
Beth xx

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