Bethlett .

81 .  Good evening loves, how are you? I'm okay, I'm just sat watching XFactor, I'm having to stay up late tonight because I'm desperate to watch WWE Hell In A Cell which is at midnight. Are any of my you watching it? Or if you are reading this from the future did you watch it? What did you think?  I want to write something that speaks to people, but I don't want to seem like a really miserable person. The truth is, I'm just really deep sometimes. I like in depth conversation and I like to write what is deep in my soul and sometimes that stuff is a bit intense and boring. I'm sorry.  I enjoy writing poems that some may be able to relate too. I like to be honest with my feelings because I feel that's safe. Do you ever feel like that? Do you ever sit in a daydream and question everything? I do. I question what my life would be like if I chose all the opposite choices to what I chose, not because I feel I have an unhappy life, I don't, I jus...

80. Dear Autumn, It's nice to have you here again The coldness of your breath The brightness of your falling leaves So magical in their death Dear Autumn, You weep your tears so publicly For all of us to feel Although we frown at naked trees   We wish for you to heal Dear Autumn, The pink skies that you wake us with May be a shepherds warning I ask you with hasted breath  Please keep them to bring the dawn in Dear Autumn, As we say goodbye to your sister summer With rain and clouds and sometimes thunder  We welcome you with warmth and laughter  With the blankets to fill our families under Dear Autumn, You bring us closer to the end of the year  Our days past with love and fear As we reflect to see how far we've come I'll enjoy you Autumn, you're my favourite one 

79 . I'm lost in the sound of the water. As it flows freely with only one direction for it to follow.  I'm lost in the music that each day creates. The birds singing and the wind rustling the leaves on the trees. It distracts me. A distraction that I beg to have. I need the distraction each moment. My mind is lost sometimes. My mind is lost right now. I'm the opposite of the water. I have no direction to go in. I have nothing to follow, only my daily routine which pushes me when disrupted, it tests me. It's testing right now.  I hate the feeling when your body wants to scream but equally cry at the same time. My body can't decide and I can't direct it.  I wish I was like the water, I wish I knew where to go, I wish my life could decide where it wants to go. Until I decide I shall lose myself further with the water, with the trees. I will appreciate what this world has to offer. I will get myself on track. I don'...

78 . Hello my loves, I'm currently eating cheesecake while watching WWE Night of Champions on the WWE Network! I bloody love wrestling! I used to watch it as a little girl at a friends house and have loved it ever since. I don't watch it every time it's on because we don't have sky sports but I do watch it every Sunday morning with Robby :)  Now something has been bothering me, this post may offend some people, and could very easily be seen as me 'having a pop' but I promise you I'm not, what I am about to write is something I think we should all just think about because it's something we all say to others... Please stop asking me about children, please don't say 'you'll be next' or 'are you thinking about children?' Etc etc. The truth is, every time someone asks me about whether me and rob are wanting children or even trying for children, fills me with worry.  I may have said this before I'm not sure but I hav...

77 . Hello my loves. Now what you are about to read may seem random, you may think 'why are you writing this now?' But please do continue to read. In my heart I feel like this is something I need to write.  I feel that my heart has almost healed. I feel that grief has turned into understanding and life is moving in the right direction for me now, even though it's the same as always.  So let me begin... I don't cry now my loves, I haven't cried in months and the more I think about it during the time of my Dads passing I probably didn't cry as much as others thought I would. Gosh most of them never saw me cry at all. That isn't because I'm cold or tough, it's because crying to me is a very personal thing. It's something only your own emotions understand so to me crying is something I want to keep to myself. I don't want the fuss of those around, I want to be left to feel what I'm feeling.  Although only a few people clos...

76 . I don't want to be consumed by this  The dreaded fear from this deadly kiss I don't want to be consumed by this I wake each morning with hopeful bliss I don't want to be consumed by this  Every moment I'm going to miss  I don't want to be consumed by this Weakened legs and thinning wrists I don't want to be consumed by this To lose those hugs and ability to kiss I don't want to be consumed by this My screaming mind but silent hiss I don't want to be consumed by this With moments for us to reminisce  I don't want to be consumed by this Everyone of you I'm going to miss  No, it's true, I don't want to end up like this But if I do, whatever's next will be simply bliss  I wrote this poem because I fear everyday my life may take a similar path in which my Dads life took. I fear the illness he had and I think I will every single day of my life. For a moment I felt my emotions an...

75 . Your life is my saving grace There is nothing better than your tight embrace  My love for you is strong You my love, are my only one  I have nothing to offer you but my heart I hope to you, that's the most important part  Please continue to save me from myself  You stop me from lowering oneself  United together we stand tall You catch me and I catch you when we fall  I thank you greatly for being my happiness  Our future will forever be full of togetherness  ❤️ Much love Beth xxx