Autumn Changes My Mind and Soul

79.

I'm lost in the sound of the water. As it flows freely with only one direction for it to follow.

I'm lost in the music that each day creates. The birds singing and the wind rustling the leaves on the trees. It distracts me. A distraction that I beg to have. I need the distraction each moment. My mind is lost sometimes.

My mind is lost right now. I'm the opposite of the water. I have no direction to go in. I have nothing to follow, only my daily routine which pushes me when disrupted, it tests me. It's testing right now.

I hate the feeling when your body wants to scream but equally cry at the same time. My body can't decide and I can't direct it.

I wish I was like the water, I wish I knew where to go, I wish my life could decide where it wants to go.

Until I decide I shall lose myself further with the water, with the trees. I will appreciate what this world has to offer. I will get myself on track. I don't want to be lost. I don't like the feeling it creates.

Find me life, find me. I want to be found with stories. I want life to involve me. Not this pointless routine. It doesn't feel like I'm living.

Comments

My letter to MND

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Bethlett .

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