142.
I look at my girls and think ‘wow, I’m so lucky’. I admit I have a toddler who drives me crazy at times and a 11 week old who I worry about constantly but they are mine, I grew them, I love them so much.
My eldest is learning words all the time, she’s growing into such an independent little being it’s incredible to witness, its shocking at how fast she is developing. I keep thinking about who she’s going to be when she’s older, what is she going to find interesting. I hope she’ll be happy. Then I look at my little fresh one and I can’t believe 11 weeks have passed already, I’m excited for every milestone that she’ll go through, when she learns to sit up, crawl, walk and start saying her first words. I wonder if ‘hiya’ will be her favourite word just like her sister.
I’m blessed.
I get sad at times, I’m sad my Dad isn’t here to meet them, hold them and grow a bond with them. I wonder how he would have felt that his youngest child now has two children of her own. You don’t often hear how people who become parents after losing a parent feel. If I’m completely honest, I often feel envious, envious of the bond they’ll have with Robs Dad. When my eldest tries to say grandad, when she hugs him tight. Gosh I wish I could see her do that with my Dad.
When Millie was born she straight away looked nothing like me or my side of the family, I was a bit annoyed in all honesty, but then she grew hair, auburn beautiful hair. Everyone asked ‘where does the hair colour come from’ as myself and Rob are dark haired, I would and still do proudly say ‘my Dad’ she may look nothing like me or any of my family but she has his hair colour, there’s a little bit of him that’s still around.
I know they’ll be a day when they ask me where my daddy is, a conversation that I think I’ll find quite difficult. They are going to miss out on creating memories with him and the moments they would get to spend together. I am going to miss out on seeing those moments too.
I just wish I could have one photo of us all, just one.
Much love,
Beth x
I look at my girls and think ‘wow, I’m so lucky’. I admit I have a toddler who drives me crazy at times and a 11 week old who I worry about constantly but they are mine, I grew them, I love them so much.
My eldest is learning words all the time, she’s growing into such an independent little being it’s incredible to witness, its shocking at how fast she is developing. I keep thinking about who she’s going to be when she’s older, what is she going to find interesting. I hope she’ll be happy. Then I look at my little fresh one and I can’t believe 11 weeks have passed already, I’m excited for every milestone that she’ll go through, when she learns to sit up, crawl, walk and start saying her first words. I wonder if ‘hiya’ will be her favourite word just like her sister.
I’m blessed.
I get sad at times, I’m sad my Dad isn’t here to meet them, hold them and grow a bond with them. I wonder how he would have felt that his youngest child now has two children of her own. You don’t often hear how people who become parents after losing a parent feel. If I’m completely honest, I often feel envious, envious of the bond they’ll have with Robs Dad. When my eldest tries to say grandad, when she hugs him tight. Gosh I wish I could see her do that with my Dad.
When Millie was born she straight away looked nothing like me or my side of the family, I was a bit annoyed in all honesty, but then she grew hair, auburn beautiful hair. Everyone asked ‘where does the hair colour come from’ as myself and Rob are dark haired, I would and still do proudly say ‘my Dad’ she may look nothing like me or any of my family but she has his hair colour, there’s a little bit of him that’s still around.
I know they’ll be a day when they ask me where my daddy is, a conversation that I think I’ll find quite difficult. They are going to miss out on creating memories with him and the moments they would get to spend together. I am going to miss out on seeing those moments too.
I just wish I could have one photo of us all, just one.
Much love,
Beth x
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