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Christmas Isn’t Always Easy

143.

I’ve realised this Christmas that it’s such a bitter sweet time! I looked at my 18 month old open her presents with utter amazement and joy whilst I held my 3 month old, and I thought each year the happiness they will feel on this day will grow and grow and that will fill my heart so much. Yet, I felt a sadness, deep in my heart, that I carry everyday but it felt heavier, heavy to the point where over the Christmas days I just wanted to sit and wallow, the smiles felt forced and I felt like I had nothing to say. Silly really. In all honesty I shed a few tears over the Christmas days.

Christmas is all about being with family, it’s creating memories with those you love the most so when someone is missing, even if like me, all you got was an early morning phone call, it’s missed more than ever. I couldn’t help thinking how many people find this time of year difficult, how many may find it quite lonely. But at the same time, trying their hardest to be happy. 

I hope that if you, reading this, struggle this time of year, I hope you can find some light in it, some happiness to let you create those memories for years to come. For me that happiness is my husband and two girls. I’m sure in the years to come that heaviness will lighten, even if it’s just a little bit.



Love,
Beth xx

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