Bethlett .

78 . Hello my loves, I'm currently eating cheesecake while watching WWE Night of Champions on the WWE Network! I bloody love wrestling! I used to watch it as a little girl at a friends house and have loved it ever since. I don't watch it every time it's on because we don't have sky sports but I do watch it every Sunday morning with Robby :)  Now something has been bothering me, this post may offend some people, and could very easily be seen as me 'having a pop' but I promise you I'm not, what I am about to write is something I think we should all just think about because it's something we all say to others... Please stop asking me about children, please don't say 'you'll be next' or 'are you thinking about children?' Etc etc. The truth is, every time someone asks me about whether me and rob are wanting children or even trying for children, fills me with worry.  I may have said this before I'm not sure but I hav...

77 . Hello my loves. Now what you are about to read may seem random, you may think 'why are you writing this now?' But please do continue to read. In my heart I feel like this is something I need to write.  I feel that my heart has almost healed. I feel that grief has turned into understanding and life is moving in the right direction for me now, even though it's the same as always.  So let me begin... I don't cry now my loves, I haven't cried in months and the more I think about it during the time of my Dads passing I probably didn't cry as much as others thought I would. Gosh most of them never saw me cry at all. That isn't because I'm cold or tough, it's because crying to me is a very personal thing. It's something only your own emotions understand so to me crying is something I want to keep to myself. I don't want the fuss of those around, I want to be left to feel what I'm feeling.  Although only a few people clos...

76 . I don't want to be consumed by this  The dreaded fear from this deadly kiss I don't want to be consumed by this I wake each morning with hopeful bliss I don't want to be consumed by this  Every moment I'm going to miss  I don't want to be consumed by this Weakened legs and thinning wrists I don't want to be consumed by this To lose those hugs and ability to kiss I don't want to be consumed by this My screaming mind but silent hiss I don't want to be consumed by this With moments for us to reminisce  I don't want to be consumed by this Everyone of you I'm going to miss  No, it's true, I don't want to end up like this But if I do, whatever's next will be simply bliss  I wrote this poem because I fear everyday my life may take a similar path in which my Dads life took. I fear the illness he had and I think I will every single day of my life. For a moment I felt my emotions an...

75 . Your life is my saving grace There is nothing better than your tight embrace  My love for you is strong You my love, are my only one  I have nothing to offer you but my heart I hope to you, that's the most important part  Please continue to save me from myself  You stop me from lowering oneself  United together we stand tall You catch me and I catch you when we fall  I thank you greatly for being my happiness  Our future will forever be full of togetherness  ❤️ Much love Beth xxx

74 . Pre warning don't read this if you don't want to read something written by someone wallowing in self pity!!  I have moments,moments of happiness and then boom the moment goes away and what's left is a 25 year old girl who drowns herself in self doubt, insecurity and on the verge of loathing oneself. Today, Tuesday 8th September 2015, I am unfortunately this version of myself!  I watched a video today by the YouTuber Hazel Hayes and at the end of her video she spoke about how while editing her video she watched herself in happy times unaware of what was about to happen in her life (she never mentioned what had happened btw) and I couldn't help think back to February and the months before that and how blissfully unaware I was to one of the most dramatic events that will happen in my lifetime, and how that event was getting closer and closer to happening. And it made me sad!!  We take what we have for granted, everyday we take life for granted! S...

73 . Hello my loves, are you well? I'm very cold :( I felt like a midweek blog post I hope you don't mind :)  Why do we let others control our happiness? Why do we find it difficult to brush off strangers opinions? We all get pissed off with others everyday, sometimes being angry at someone can consume our day but we really shouldn't let it.  I try to tell myself and others not to let the opinion of those who mean nothing to my life, effect my life. Instead I feel it's important to let those who do mean a lot to me or effect my life positively, know. I will tell people that I think they are a lovely person. Sometimes it's nice to be nice for no other reason than just simply being nice.  I admit I'm crap at keeping in touch with people, I often get a little too wrapped up in my own stuff, don't we all? But I hope that people know I would always be there if they needed me to be. I feel a lot of us forget that there are people in our lives who w...

72 . Hello my loves. It's been over a week since I wrote you, maybe even a little longer than that. I've had some time off work, we went down south to bury my Dads ashes then Rob and I spent a couple of days in London. What a different world it is down there compared to here. Then it was my birthday, I'm now 25!! I can feel the wrinkles setting in and the grey hairs are appearing at rapid speed.  Although I had a busy time I'm not going to be talking about that, I want to talk about something else if that's okay? Before I start I just want to tell you I'm listening to Daughter again. I only have a few songs on my iPod but I just love them, her voice is so captivating I really do recommend you listen to them.  Have you ever looked at someone, anyone and wondered what they are about, wondered who they truly are? It could be for a split second or a bus ride somewhere. You don't know who they are you've never seen them in your entire life before...