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Dear Dad,

139.

Hi, 

Gosh it’s been a while since I’ve wrote about you, it feels like a long time since I’ve spoke about you out loud too. I’m sorry about that. I guess life all of a sudden just starts moving and each day flies by as fast as the next one comes, it doesn’t mean I don’t think about you, or talk to you in my head (crazy I know) because those I do all day long.

I have a 10 month old little girl now Dad, she has your auburn hair, a lovely reminder of you even though I’m afraid she looks nothing like us Aboe folk, she’s Robs twin! I say it’s karma because while I was pregnant I would say to him she’d look nothing like him at all because our gene is so strong...more fool me ey?! I also have another baby on the way, it was a shock to us too! But a very happy one at that. He or she is due at the end of September, I wonder if they’ll have your hair too.

So much has changed over the last three years, especially this last year. My goodness it’s all different. I’d like to think you’d see me as a lovely young lady, can I class my self as young at 27? I dunno, I just feel like I’ve grown up. I see things differently now, even more so after becoming a mummy. 

I haven’t written in a very long time, I fell out of love with it. I found the first few months after Millie was born difficult, all of a sudden I had to try and push past all the things I allow to hold me back because I’m scared, it’s much harder when all you wanna do is hide. So yeah, writing was put to the back burner, at times I even forgot this place existed. I felt like writing tonight because it’s Friday the 13th, you passed away on a Friday the 13th so today you’ve been more upfront in my mind. 

I hope that somehow you can see us all here and you are able to see how everyone is doing, and I hope that those with you are smiling at the ones they love and miss. 

I hope it doesn’t bother you that I don’t do anything to raise money for the mnd charity. I don’t want it to define who we are because it never defined who you were. I guess some people find it comforting but others not so much. 

I don’t have much to say really. I just miss you and wish you could have met my beautiful daughter, I’ll be sure to show my children photos of you when they are older. Although a photo can never compete with the real thing...

All the love,
Beth xx

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