130.
Ironically I'm writing this on mine and my husbands 9 year anniversary (from first going out not marriage)
Relationships are difficult, marriage can be difficult and after a baby, more so. This will be quite honest in places which I'm sure will piss Rob off to no end but look, this is my outlet.
We have never argued so much in our whole 9 years like we have in the past 10 weeks! Our baby girl is our absolute WORLD but yes it has been hard on us! You never get told really that there might be a strain after a baby is born in a relationship, I pictured it to be all wonderful and bliss and the three of us just so in love all the time. I'm not saying I'm not in love all the time! Of course I am! However, what isn't ever mentioned is how tiredness and hormones and emotions can cause absolute tidal waves!
It's so daunting coming home with this little person you have only ever imagined in your mind. All of a sudden they are there, needing you to keep them alive and well and happy! PRESSURE! They become your ultimate priority. So because of that I think for the man, partner, significant other, they can feel pushed out, they are now in second position for that priority role. When before that wasn't the case. Which wrongfully or rightly causes a bit of strain.
Hormones! The carrier of that baby has got a lot of hormone correcting to do which is so much fun...not! One minute you're extremely over joyed, the next extremely overwhelmed, smiling then crying, chatty then silent, calm then a wave of rage hits. It's horrible to go through and it's horrible for the people in the firing line, again it causes a strain. And although you know it's hormones and stuff you just can't help the mood swings, the crying at nothing, the complete irrational mindset you somehow can get yourself into. It just happens and before you know it you and your partner are no longer speaking, you know it's your fault but you're too stubborn to admit it. ANNOYING.
Tiredness! Never EVER underestimate the powers of tiredness, actually I'll just say it, exhaustion! The getting up multiple times in the night, the always having stuff to get done during the day. When people say 'sleep when the baby sleeps' no! You just can't! There's bottles to wash, cleaning of a kitchen to do, clothes to put away, oh there's food that you must eat or it'll be hours until the next opportunity and as well as those, peeing! So when you are alone all day with a tiny beautiful baby, the tiredness builds and builds. Which in my case causes copious amounts of anger. (I've always been an angry tired person, it's now just 10 times worse)
A few weeks ago the words 'what do you do all day?' Got asked by the husband! When I told him he then said 'well if you did do all those things, then nothing would need doing when I get home' I hope you can maybe understand why I may have got a tad angry at that...
I understand that he works all day, but I am as well, yeah maybe not at my office job, but at home raising our baby girl, worrying about her constantly, and trying my best at everything I manage to do. He may not see some physical jobs being done but knowing I've been alone all day trying to be the best mum I can be, I feel that should be appreciated a bit more.
So this brings me to the emotions! When you are at home, on your own with your baby, you have a lot of time to think. The hormones play with your mind and so does the tiredness and, well, basically everything can build up. You can feel totally and utterly, alone. All you want is for you other half to praise you when they get home, take the load off once they walk through the door, and ultimately to just appreciate you and your efforts.
Don't get me wrong, some people don't have it easy at all, some people only have themselves 24/7, and those people need all the appreciation and praise in the world as they are doing an amazing job!!!
Sometimes it can be difficult. And that is what no one prepares you for!
Much love
Beth xx
P.S sorry Robby xx
Ironically I'm writing this on mine and my husbands 9 year anniversary (from first going out not marriage)
Relationships are difficult, marriage can be difficult and after a baby, more so. This will be quite honest in places which I'm sure will piss Rob off to no end but look, this is my outlet.
We have never argued so much in our whole 9 years like we have in the past 10 weeks! Our baby girl is our absolute WORLD but yes it has been hard on us! You never get told really that there might be a strain after a baby is born in a relationship, I pictured it to be all wonderful and bliss and the three of us just so in love all the time. I'm not saying I'm not in love all the time! Of course I am! However, what isn't ever mentioned is how tiredness and hormones and emotions can cause absolute tidal waves!
It's so daunting coming home with this little person you have only ever imagined in your mind. All of a sudden they are there, needing you to keep them alive and well and happy! PRESSURE! They become your ultimate priority. So because of that I think for the man, partner, significant other, they can feel pushed out, they are now in second position for that priority role. When before that wasn't the case. Which wrongfully or rightly causes a bit of strain.
Hormones! The carrier of that baby has got a lot of hormone correcting to do which is so much fun...not! One minute you're extremely over joyed, the next extremely overwhelmed, smiling then crying, chatty then silent, calm then a wave of rage hits. It's horrible to go through and it's horrible for the people in the firing line, again it causes a strain. And although you know it's hormones and stuff you just can't help the mood swings, the crying at nothing, the complete irrational mindset you somehow can get yourself into. It just happens and before you know it you and your partner are no longer speaking, you know it's your fault but you're too stubborn to admit it. ANNOYING.
Tiredness! Never EVER underestimate the powers of tiredness, actually I'll just say it, exhaustion! The getting up multiple times in the night, the always having stuff to get done during the day. When people say 'sleep when the baby sleeps' no! You just can't! There's bottles to wash, cleaning of a kitchen to do, clothes to put away, oh there's food that you must eat or it'll be hours until the next opportunity and as well as those, peeing! So when you are alone all day with a tiny beautiful baby, the tiredness builds and builds. Which in my case causes copious amounts of anger. (I've always been an angry tired person, it's now just 10 times worse)
A few weeks ago the words 'what do you do all day?' Got asked by the husband! When I told him he then said 'well if you did do all those things, then nothing would need doing when I get home' I hope you can maybe understand why I may have got a tad angry at that...
I understand that he works all day, but I am as well, yeah maybe not at my office job, but at home raising our baby girl, worrying about her constantly, and trying my best at everything I manage to do. He may not see some physical jobs being done but knowing I've been alone all day trying to be the best mum I can be, I feel that should be appreciated a bit more.
So this brings me to the emotions! When you are at home, on your own with your baby, you have a lot of time to think. The hormones play with your mind and so does the tiredness and, well, basically everything can build up. You can feel totally and utterly, alone. All you want is for you other half to praise you when they get home, take the load off once they walk through the door, and ultimately to just appreciate you and your efforts.
Don't get me wrong, some people don't have it easy at all, some people only have themselves 24/7, and those people need all the appreciation and praise in the world as they are doing an amazing job!!!
Sometimes it can be difficult. And that is what no one prepares you for!
Much love
Beth xx
P.S sorry Robby xx
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