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Gotta smile through the hard times

51.

 Hello my loves, I know I know, it feels like forever! After my post 50 my mind has been a little bit all over the place...

 Firstly though let me just tell you who I'm listening too, James Bay, he is without a doubt becoming one of my favourite singers! I'm listening to the song Let It Go and NO it's not a cover of that bloody Frozen song! But please please go listen to him, he's slightly beautiful.

 I'm sitting here with my super duper lovely blanket wrapped around me to keep me warm but I find, I don't know if others will as well but I get all snuggled and warm and then all of a sudden I become so uncomfortable I need to move meaning the blanket moves and I become cold again, or I end up needing a wee *giggle*. 

 So, I guess I should explain my absence? Post 50 was pretty intense and open for me to write, giving you all an update on Dad, well a few people told me that it upset them, or it made them cry etc and I felt bad for doing that. I never want what I write to upset people emotionally but I know that the things I write are very honest and personal so for those who read each one I guess it maybe feels like they are living this all with me. So because since that post I have been in a negative place mentally I haven't wanted to write to you my loves, I don't want to seem like a very negative person, it's just at this moment in my life things are cloudy.

 I do have something exciting happening at the moment which is making me see positivity, it's just very stressful, but I will tell you more when it's a definite :D 
:)

 I just had a slight brainwave! This may apply to some of you with any problems you are having. Even though I have something in my life that is truly breaking my heart, makes me cry, makes me angry and frustrated it is also filling my life with love, support, memories and strength. It is making me realise what is important and what isn't. 

 My Dad may not be able to communicate in a way I can understand now but he can still smile, he can still laugh, he manages to say I Love You at the end of every phone call the same phone call mainly made up of random noises and slurs. He is unable to use his hands, he struggles with his incredibly weak arms but he can still hug, he is able to feel our love with one big squeeze. 
MND can take so much away but it can't take away the feeling of love. 

Things are tough in life, some things happen to us that we wish wouldn't but we should make it our goal to try and see the positive elements which are sometimes hidden in the gloomy cloud. They're there somewhere I promise. 

It could be something as simple as ducks
<3


Much love
Beth xxx

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Comments

  1. Ali Hochstetter26 January, 2015 21:16

    Much Love xxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dennis26 January, 2015 21:39

    Hi ha Beth,
    Even if your posts bring a lump to my throat, I still thank you from the bottom of my heart, for every single word. You are an amazing blogger, who tells us all the struggles that my "up north" family are dealing with.
    You are amazing and brave and kind, but your music taste leads a lot to be desired hee hee
    Much love, your cuz
    Denize x x

    ReplyDelete
  3. Suey26 January, 2015 22:54

    Oh Beth, your dad's smile makes me smile, he look's so happy even though he is not well, my heart goes out to you, you are so young to be handling all this,but you are at the same time making memories that will live in your heart for the rest of your life. x x x

    ReplyDelete
  4. shell26 January, 2015 23:55

    Another great blog Beth, you are so strong and never fail to amaze me. Knowing you is a privilege you are such a lovely person with so much to give xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous27 January, 2015 01:21

    an amazing young woman, with a certain calm strength, amazing you are your Fathers daughter. xx

    ReplyDelete

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