Bethlett .

134 .  This was me nearly 10 years ago. I thought I was fat... Only now do I see how much time I wasted being concerned about the opinion of others regarding my size. Yes I was the biggest girl in my classes in primary and secondary school and when I got to year 11 I had had enough of feeling huge. I would eat breakfast, eat nothing all day at school, then eat tea and that would be it. I continued this pattern until I was 17. All because I felt so fat! Now I think, sheesh I spent most of my days hungry because I was so anxious to eat in front of others because I worried about their judgement, when I shouldn't have cared!  Now at 27 years of age, I'm still fat, I'm not going to spend my days hungry because what's the point? My size should be no ones concern but mine. Yes I'd love to lose weight but I'm lazy as hell and I hate salad! Shoot me. I'm happy, I'm content, and I'll do something about it when I'm ready. As most of you kno

133 . Many times I wished for a different life I've wished to be another girl The skinny one, the pretty one, the popular one, The all of the above one  I wished to live in their big houses With the nice cars With lots of money I wished for their everyday Then I've seen traits I don't quite agree with Friends who don't seem genuine  A happiness that doesn't seem true I've realised that if I was them I wouldn't have my morals  My memories  The core that makes me, me I wouldn't have or even know my husband, my child or even my cats  I wouldn't know my parents, my siblings, or anyone familiar  I wouldn't have those and the things that make me who I am  I wouldn't be happy  So I may have wished to be many others  Others who aren't me I'm very happy those wishes won't come true As I only ever want to be, me   Xx

132 . Sooooooo maybe I should explain... My last post was written on a down day, quite a heavy down day so like usual I vented my feelings the only way I know how, and post 131 was created... I wrote that post 12 weeks after giving birth. 12 weeks of tiredness, stress and the creeping feeling of loneliness. I don't want you to think this is a cop out but I was very VERY hormonal. I still had not had the reoccurrence of the ol friend, lady time, so I think my body was screaming for it to happen just so it could breathe a sigh of relief. To which since, it has WOOHOO! I finally feel like a normal human being again instead of the ball of mood swings and uncontrollable anger walking around the place.  I would just like to say a thank you to those who sent me messages asking if I was okay, I am fine and dandy, just a tad over dramatic sometimes haha  I'd just like to say though that being a new mum can be a lonely job. All your friends are working and you don't have