Bethlett .

119 . From time to time I go quiet. I'm not purposely being rude or ignoring people I just go quiet. It's like I don't have the thoughts for a fluid conversation. I seem to become comfortable with no thoughts at all.  I would say I have always been a loner, this used to bother me but now I kinda enjoy it. I enjoy my own space, being silent for a while. It doesn't mean anything is wrong it just means I'm, well I don't know what it means really.  I guess I often fight a thought in my head that tells me relationships are difficult to maintain, too much work, when really they aren't at all. I'm very capable of keeping relationships going, that shows with Rob, family and a small handful of friends. I wonder if I think this because the longer someone sticks around for the less I can pretend I'm an outgoing funny person. Like I said I'm really quite quiet and I have a lot of deep thoughts.  I sometimes think that part of the reaso...

118 . Change is a wonderful thing, change is a time for learning and growth. Change is positive, time to move on, time for a new adventure...change terrifies me!!!  This week I leave the job I have done for the last 4 and a half years. I leave the comfort of knowing what I do and that I do it well. I will put my uniform on for the last time before moving onto something new. A place with no uniform, a place where I'll know nothing, I'll know nobody. I'm starting a whole new chapter for my book which is my life. Am I ready? Not really, am I scared? You bet I am! Am I excited? ABSOLUTELY! The learning doesn't scare me, getting things a bit wrong doesn't scare me because that's to be expected. No way am I going into this knowing what I'll be doing. But I know that in time once a routine is together I'll be fine.  You all know I'm about routine, I'm a creature of habit so what scares me is that for a while I'll not really ha...

117 . September to me is a transition month. We go from our long bright nights and the feeling of summer freedom to nights slowly getting more dark and a chill appears. It's not a gloomy month but it doesn't have the same pep in its step like July and August.  It's a time of new beginnings, the trees slowly losing their leaves, the bare branches bedding in for the cold winter ahead. September is preparing for the long British chill that we seem to have for a much longer period than the warmth.  I look forward for the arrival of Autumn that September slowly brings, it's my favourite season. There's so much beauty in it. I love the orange overtone that the fallen leaves bring. I love the misty mornings and in all honesty I enjoy the rain. It fascinates me. We don't question the giant in the skies tears when September comes along. We allow him to be a bit sad.  Now September is here we are entering the tail end of the year, we are starting to...