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My weekend of mixed emotions!

11.

I'm sat here listening to Sam Smith - I'm Not The Only One singing a long like a goon, I just can't help myself and I have dead roses to the right of me. I know I should throw them away but they are quite beautiful in their shrivelled form I can't bring myself to get rid of them. I think it's unlucky to have dead flowers though isn't it? 

I thought I would tell you about my weekend if you didn't mind? About how different the two days were. 

On Saturday me and Rob decided to take a drive to York and spend a few hours there because we don't really have days out together so thought it would be nice to do. We used the park and ride into the city which we haven't done before so we both felt like a big accomplishment was achieved by doing that *pat on the back* if it wasn't for our Yorkshire accents I reckon the bus driver could of thought we were tourists 'Is this the bus into York? How do we do it?' he was very helpful, we must have looked like two lost souls in this random car park. 

Rob has never really been in York before so I showed him around The Shambles because I absolutely love that place, all the quirky little shops, bagged myself a little glass giraffe :) I've called him Yorkie. York was so so busy but we still enjoyed walking around. I showed Rob the York Minster and his words to me where I KID YOU NOT 'Is this a big deal or something?' IS IT A BIG DEAL?? You know, sometimes that boy amazes me with what he says. We really wanted to go inside but we thought it cost a lot to get in so decided against it. We got cake from Patisserie Valerie which were pretty mammoth but lovely. We had a really nice day together and we were both knackered from all the walking around but it was totally worth it just spending time together :)

Sundays are my day to see my dad and I had a feeling that it might be a difficult day because this past week he has been quite confused with things. We usually just drive up to the home and pick him up but as we were driving down the road we saw my dad walking into the town so quick U-turn to pick him up he told me he was bored at the home and that's why he walked off. My dad's dementia seems to cause him to work off impulse. 

When we got to the cafe we go to each week everything was fine, I cut up his food and kept an eye on him while he ate because I didn't want him to choke but unfortunately he did. I have been with him before when he has started to choke and it's awful, you feel helpless even though you're doing everything you can to try and help but yesterday was the worst I have witnessed. I took him outside to try and get air into him while he coughed and coughed but he just couldn't clear it. He wasn't choking on his food, he was choking on the build up in his throat that just sits there, I tried my best to remove it all for him and thankfully we got it cleared. It was the most terrifying 5 minutes of my life, I think adrenaline takes over and you act the best you can the quickest you can. The ordeal really shook him up and I can understand why he gets nervous before eating food when something like that happens. 

After it happened we went to my brothers house and I tried to make him laugh because he was quiet so I told him that the worst thing was that I had to leave my bacon sandwich. It worked, he laughed with me about it :) When we got back to the home I felt drained as did dad I believe, I felt very emotional but didn't want to cry. Dad was fine once we got him back watching the football :)

After me and Rob left we popped round to see my mum and I told her what had happened and just cried for a little bit. Mummy hugs seem to fix everything. 

Motor Neurone Disease is a bastard!! 

Much love
Beth x

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Comments

  1. Keep that chin up Beth xxx

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  2. Awwww Beth. You make me wanna cry! You're so lovely. Xxx

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  3. Oh lovely Beth, your blog today has me in tears. I feel for you honey. Not only is it hard for your dad but for you too, as you carry on as best you can. Im sure your daddy really appreciates you been there for him and the terrible problems he is having to face! Much love to you Beth xxx

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