Express yourself!

10.

I'm watching the final of Big Brother, I want Christopher to win just saying! Okay he's just been evicted! Glad I didn't do a bet on that one.

Anyhoo...quite a few people have asked me how I am able to write the things I write about in my blog and ask me if I find it helps. The things I write about I will tell people in person but I will only tell them snippets, I find it so much easier to just write it down, I don't have to see the emotions of those reading, (Helen has won Big Brother - NOT happy) right sorry, in person I don't like seeing the persons reactions when I tell them personal information I always turn into a blubbering mess if they say something I might not like. Me writing it out and publishing it for anyone to read shockingly is very easy for me to do considering I could get negative comments from all over the place but when I write them I don't really think about that I just want to get it out of my brain so it really does help and I think it will help others understand me a bit more, you'll all understand why I have the quirks I have.

This is my very public diary that I can keep for however long I want and I'll be able to read back any cringe worthy stuff I have written.

I fully encourage anyone to do the same thing. Maybe not a public blog if you're not comfortable with doing that but writing your thoughts down on a piece of paper could help so much. Don't store it all up in your fantastic brain you never know what you could discover about yourself and/or discover about others. It definitely helps me writing these and annoying all of you :) but who knows where it will lead.

Go on, go for it :)

Much love

Beth x

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Comments

In difficulty there is strength and laughter

53. Hello my loves... This may seem like a very strange time, some may think I shouldn't write at all right now but as I'm just sat here, waiting, I feel I should (plus I've been given permission from my sister Kellie and Rob) On Wednesday 4th February, which seems like a lifetime ago, I got a phone call to say things with Dad had took a turn and we all needed to get to the home as time was looking short. I can't explain the fear that was going through me. The panic was so strong I was physically shaking until i got to the home to see him. I had no idea what to expect, what had happened or what was going to happen, I just had to go with it. I guess we all do when faced with these extremes. I have to admit I was pretty shocked to see that once the sedation had worn off he was back to his smiley self, even dancing along to the music. But we knew it was serious when they said he was now completely nill by mouth, no food, no liquid. An influx of...

My beautiful Dad

54. Hello my loves, you have followed me journey with my Dad for quite some time now. You my loves have been the ones I've expressed my feelings too when I've been struggling. You've been the ones I have tried to raise awareness with. You've been there for me when I've felt a bit lost. I updated you last week about my Dad and the fight he was continuing to fight even though it was becoming a bit too much of a battle to beat. It breaks my heart to tell you loves that my beautifully brave Dad lost his fight on Friday 13th February. I'm pretty devastated if I'm completely honest with you all. But I'm so immensely proud of his strength and courage, how he fought and boy did he fight , he was truly incredible. Emotions come over me in waves, today I spent most of the day okay, just plodding along but tonight I've had a huge break down, crying seems to appear from no where. Today we cleared his room out at the home and it just didn't seem real. ...

This may upset you...

50. Hello my loves. WOW we've made it to the fiftieth blog post, if you're reading this one and you've read all of the ones before, thank you for sticking with me and my public diary entries. If you are new to my posts then Hello and welcome to my life, my little world of, well, I'm not to sure...this. I'm listening and watching Sia - Elastic Heart, I absolutely love this song and I love the video! It's so incredibly powerful , I watch it without knowing what it is that is keeping me so drawn to it (maybe Shia's body...) but seriously please go and watch it, don't read the comments of the video if it's the first time you're watching it and let me know what you believe it is portraying. I won't tell you what I believe because I don't want my view to alter what you may initially feel. I feel like it might be a good time to update you guys on my Dad. By the way, everything I write is solely my feelings and from my point of vie...

Bethlett .

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