2.
I'm listening to a beautiful song called Medicine by a band called Daughter and it always makes me think about things, everything really. It's a dream of mine to watch them live and just be completely transfixed and slightly in love. Maybe in one blog I will write about some of my favourite bands...this blog however I want to just talk from the heart. So here it goes...
In my life I have always wanted to shut my feelings away from others, I haven't wanted to bore them with the problems whizzing around my head about any old thing. I have always wanted to appear as though I'm okay, that everything is okay with me and my life when sometimes it really wasn't, sometimes I really struggled. I just really wanted to come across to others as the one they could go to with their problems so I could forget about mine. I would listen and try my best to advise (I still do) I wanted to feel that those close to me knew they had someone close by they could turn too whenever they needed that someone. However, in doing that when I needed someone there to talk to I felt no one was there, when in reality they where, they were always there. I was just being too stubborn to admit I needed a chat, a cuddle and maybe a little cry. I wanted to appear strong...
To friends I would put on my mask and pretend, I didn't want them thinking badly of me, I didn't want them to feel burdened by me so I kept 'strong' but I wasn't being real, I wasn't being 100% me. Naturally after time that mask starts to fade and the person I was hiding started to shine through and that side was an ugly one. I took my self-esteem issues and reflected them onto my friends and I shouldn't have, I should have spoke to them with whatever I was worrying about and I should have been honest and open with them...
Don't shut yourself away!
Being happily married now and having a close connection of lovely people at work I have realised that with the problems I am having to go through in my life right now I have people there! Over the past year I have had to grow up fast and realise that life is not simple, it's not black and white. I can't be the judgemental person I used to be any more, because you really don't know what goes on with others behind closed doors.
With all these new people in my life, and they have only been in my life for a short period of time I have learnt that people will listen when you just need to rant, they will give advise if you ask for it and they won't treat you any differently just because you're finding it hard.
I've learnt that I am strong, I will continue to be strong not because I want others to think I am but because in life you're given challenges that once you've tackled them you've learnt from them which in the end makes you, YOU.
I guess the moral to this story is that sometimes you need someone there, just one person who will listen to you and your worries. Even if they can't give you advise just having someone there to listen helps. No one is okay 100% of the time and if your a bit like how I was just remember...it really is OKAY to not be okay.
Much love
Beth x
p.s If you would like to comment select the Name/URL in the drop-down menu, just enter your name you don't need to put a URL in.
x
I'm listening to a beautiful song called Medicine by a band called Daughter and it always makes me think about things, everything really. It's a dream of mine to watch them live and just be completely transfixed and slightly in love. Maybe in one blog I will write about some of my favourite bands...this blog however I want to just talk from the heart. So here it goes...
In my life I have always wanted to shut my feelings away from others, I haven't wanted to bore them with the problems whizzing around my head about any old thing. I have always wanted to appear as though I'm okay, that everything is okay with me and my life when sometimes it really wasn't, sometimes I really struggled. I just really wanted to come across to others as the one they could go to with their problems so I could forget about mine. I would listen and try my best to advise (I still do) I wanted to feel that those close to me knew they had someone close by they could turn too whenever they needed that someone. However, in doing that when I needed someone there to talk to I felt no one was there, when in reality they where, they were always there. I was just being too stubborn to admit I needed a chat, a cuddle and maybe a little cry. I wanted to appear strong...
To friends I would put on my mask and pretend, I didn't want them thinking badly of me, I didn't want them to feel burdened by me so I kept 'strong' but I wasn't being real, I wasn't being 100% me. Naturally after time that mask starts to fade and the person I was hiding started to shine through and that side was an ugly one. I took my self-esteem issues and reflected them onto my friends and I shouldn't have, I should have spoke to them with whatever I was worrying about and I should have been honest and open with them...
Don't shut yourself away!
Being happily married now and having a close connection of lovely people at work I have realised that with the problems I am having to go through in my life right now I have people there! Over the past year I have had to grow up fast and realise that life is not simple, it's not black and white. I can't be the judgemental person I used to be any more, because you really don't know what goes on with others behind closed doors.
With all these new people in my life, and they have only been in my life for a short period of time I have learnt that people will listen when you just need to rant, they will give advise if you ask for it and they won't treat you any differently just because you're finding it hard.
I've learnt that I am strong, I will continue to be strong not because I want others to think I am but because in life you're given challenges that once you've tackled them you've learnt from them which in the end makes you, YOU.
I guess the moral to this story is that sometimes you need someone there, just one person who will listen to you and your worries. Even if they can't give you advise just having someone there to listen helps. No one is okay 100% of the time and if your a bit like how I was just remember...it really is OKAY to not be okay.
Much love
Beth x
p.s If you would like to comment select the Name/URL in the drop-down menu, just enter your name you don't need to put a URL in.
x
very true Beth we all need someone to listen and cry with. Has they a burden shared is a burden havled
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