Goodbye November, Hello December

87.

You seem like a distant memory now but you only you left yesterday. November you're one of my favourites. Your like holding on to something. There doesn't seem to be pressure with you November.

December seems so final, I don't know if I'm ready for it.

As the days of December descend the mornings become even colder. Maybe snow will fall. Memories of our lost loved ones get stronger and stronger as the day of Christmas edges ever closer, reminding us that our hearts aren't fully pieced together and those parts that are still glued become full of happiness as we see the faces of those still here beam with excitement and joy.

December you're a funny one, so many people can't wait for you to be over but some never want you to leave. You round off the year in an almighty fashion. With a day filled of love and togetherness but not too far away, just around the corner we start a year all over again. With more mystery and anticipation than the previous 12 months we've survived through.

So November, I'll miss you until we meet again next year. With the same feelings of unsteadiness about December as I have this year.

Hello December...

Much love

B xx

Comments

In difficulty there is strength and laughter

53. Hello my loves... This may seem like a very strange time, some may think I shouldn't write at all right now but as I'm just sat here, waiting, I feel I should (plus I've been given permission from my sister Kellie and Rob) On Wednesday 4th February, which seems like a lifetime ago, I got a phone call to say things with Dad had took a turn and we all needed to get to the home as time was looking short. I can't explain the fear that was going through me. The panic was so strong I was physically shaking until i got to the home to see him. I had no idea what to expect, what had happened or what was going to happen, I just had to go with it. I guess we all do when faced with these extremes. I have to admit I was pretty shocked to see that once the sedation had worn off he was back to his smiley self, even dancing along to the music. But we knew it was serious when they said he was now completely nill by mouth, no food, no liquid. An influx of...

My beautiful Dad

54. Hello my loves, you have followed me journey with my Dad for quite some time now. You my loves have been the ones I've expressed my feelings too when I've been struggling. You've been the ones I have tried to raise awareness with. You've been there for me when I've felt a bit lost. I updated you last week about my Dad and the fight he was continuing to fight even though it was becoming a bit too much of a battle to beat. It breaks my heart to tell you loves that my beautifully brave Dad lost his fight on Friday 13th February. I'm pretty devastated if I'm completely honest with you all. But I'm so immensely proud of his strength and courage, how he fought and boy did he fight , he was truly incredible. Emotions come over me in waves, today I spent most of the day okay, just plodding along but tonight I've had a huge break down, crying seems to appear from no where. Today we cleared his room out at the home and it just didn't seem real. ...

This may upset you...

50. Hello my loves. WOW we've made it to the fiftieth blog post, if you're reading this one and you've read all of the ones before, thank you for sticking with me and my public diary entries. If you are new to my posts then Hello and welcome to my life, my little world of, well, I'm not to sure...this. I'm listening and watching Sia - Elastic Heart, I absolutely love this song and I love the video! It's so incredibly powerful , I watch it without knowing what it is that is keeping me so drawn to it (maybe Shia's body...) but seriously please go and watch it, don't read the comments of the video if it's the first time you're watching it and let me know what you believe it is portraying. I won't tell you what I believe because I don't want my view to alter what you may initially feel. I feel like it might be a good time to update you guys on my Dad. By the way, everything I write is solely my feelings and from my point of vie...

Bethlett .

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