141.
I’m not feeling myself.
Three weeks ago I had my second baby, Daisy, she’s amazing! I feel so blessed to have two daughters who fill my heart with so much love!
However, now this will be hard for me because I’m desperately trying to stop myself from feeling this way but I’m struggling. I feel like I’ve lost my happiness, I haven’t laughed in days, smiles are feeling forced and general conversation is becoming difficult. I know you’ll be thinking ‘oh post natal depression speak to the health visitor or drs’ and yes maybe I should, maybe I will but it’s up to me. Let me explain...
I do not do well with lack of sleep, before children I would be vile if I was tired and I mean vile. So now with two children, a newborn and a very active toddler I feel exhausted!! If I could just sleep for a solid 24 hours I’d be tip top I just know it but that’s not going to happen. Is it too soon to rush on teenage years when they won’t get out of bed? Haha
So yes I’m pretty darn tired, we’ve also had a tough week. Millie has had hand foot and mouth and Daisy is full of cold and is producing poop like it’s going out of fashion, every hour maybe even more than that! I’ve been stressed and worried, I don’t know why Daisy has the poops and neither did the dr. She also likes to do the occasional vomatron which for someone with a phobia of vomit it’s quite hard to cope with sometimes. My anxiety levels have been increasing everyday.
The events of the week have added to my tiredness, my tiredness has given me a lack of appetite, my body is working off Nutella on toast once a day and not much else!
It’s scary that I feel this way, I want to feel happy but right now it’s hard to see when that’ll come back. I want to be nice to my husband but I seem incapable of that, i want to stop worrying about every little thing like crumbs on the kitchen side, clothes that haven’t been put away in days because those things don’t matter but in my head they are huge annoyances that I can’t get past. I just wanna feel like myself.
I understand that I shouldn’t moan about being tired as so many people have it so much worse than me. I just want to express how I feel because I can’t say the words, I am struggling. I feel like I’m not allowed to feel this way because I’m so lucky, like I just need to get over it, what did I expect blah blah blah. But I’m doing my best to keep two tiny humans alive and teach them and nurture them for their futures. It’s a pretty big responsibility. So am I wrong in feeling a bit overwhelmed after 3 weeks of having two children?
Much love
Beth xx
P.S I politely ask you not to say to me about getting seen, it’s quite hard to admit something like this on here let alone in person.
I’m not feeling myself.
Three weeks ago I had my second baby, Daisy, she’s amazing! I feel so blessed to have two daughters who fill my heart with so much love!
However, now this will be hard for me because I’m desperately trying to stop myself from feeling this way but I’m struggling. I feel like I’ve lost my happiness, I haven’t laughed in days, smiles are feeling forced and general conversation is becoming difficult. I know you’ll be thinking ‘oh post natal depression speak to the health visitor or drs’ and yes maybe I should, maybe I will but it’s up to me. Let me explain...
I do not do well with lack of sleep, before children I would be vile if I was tired and I mean vile. So now with two children, a newborn and a very active toddler I feel exhausted!! If I could just sleep for a solid 24 hours I’d be tip top I just know it but that’s not going to happen. Is it too soon to rush on teenage years when they won’t get out of bed? Haha
So yes I’m pretty darn tired, we’ve also had a tough week. Millie has had hand foot and mouth and Daisy is full of cold and is producing poop like it’s going out of fashion, every hour maybe even more than that! I’ve been stressed and worried, I don’t know why Daisy has the poops and neither did the dr. She also likes to do the occasional vomatron which for someone with a phobia of vomit it’s quite hard to cope with sometimes. My anxiety levels have been increasing everyday.
The events of the week have added to my tiredness, my tiredness has given me a lack of appetite, my body is working off Nutella on toast once a day and not much else!
It’s scary that I feel this way, I want to feel happy but right now it’s hard to see when that’ll come back. I want to be nice to my husband but I seem incapable of that, i want to stop worrying about every little thing like crumbs on the kitchen side, clothes that haven’t been put away in days because those things don’t matter but in my head they are huge annoyances that I can’t get past. I just wanna feel like myself.
I understand that I shouldn’t moan about being tired as so many people have it so much worse than me. I just want to express how I feel because I can’t say the words, I am struggling. I feel like I’m not allowed to feel this way because I’m so lucky, like I just need to get over it, what did I expect blah blah blah. But I’m doing my best to keep two tiny humans alive and teach them and nurture them for their futures. It’s a pretty big responsibility. So am I wrong in feeling a bit overwhelmed after 3 weeks of having two children?
Much love
Beth xx
P.S I politely ask you not to say to me about getting seen, it’s quite hard to admit something like this on here let alone in person.
Omg it is so hard going from one child to two children it is so overwhelming! But once you get yourselves into a routine you will start to feel yourself and feel as though you can take on the world, dont forget your hormones will be crazy for a while, chin up mama your doing great :)
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