My Outlook on Life

106.

I recently got asked if my outlook on life has changed since losing my Dad. I struggled to think of an answer. When he passed away my life felt so consumed by the loss and also the emotions I felt building up to the day he passed away, it's hard to think about how I was as a person before it all.

I maybe don't see life differently as such but I see people differently. Before I would be quite narrow minded, black and white. So if someone was acting different to what I classed as 'normal' I would label them weird. I couldn't see a reason behind their actions. But now I see that not everything we see as passers by is concrete information. We have literally no idea what goes on behind closed doors. We don't know other people's struggles. I've learnt to have patience, more respect and more understanding.

Don't get me wrong naturally for a while my thoughts where 'live everyday as your last' etc etc but the way I am, it's not a characteristic I have. My life soon became controlled by anxiety and routine like it most likely always had been. As time goes by that'll either get better or get worse. I can only live my life to find out.

I guess the question should be asked to those around me because I only see my life the way I believe it's always been. I've just gained a better understanding of others.

I'm still smiling, still laughing and still surviving.

Love,

Beth xx

bethsblog90@gmail.com

Comments

This may upset you...

50. Hello my loves. WOW we've made it to the fiftieth blog post, if you're reading this one and you've read all of the ones before, thank you for sticking with me and my public diary entries. If you are new to my posts then Hello and welcome to my life, my little world of, well, I'm not to sure...this. I'm listening and watching Sia - Elastic Heart, I absolutely love this song and I love the video! It's so incredibly powerful , I watch it without knowing what it is that is keeping me so drawn to it (maybe Shia's body...) but seriously please go and watch it, don't read the comments of the video if it's the first time you're watching it and let me know what you believe it is portraying. I won't tell you what I believe because I don't want my view to alter what you may initially feel. I feel like it might be a good time to update you guys on my Dad. By the way, everything I write is solely my feelings and from my point of vie

In difficulty there is strength and laughter

53. Hello my loves... This may seem like a very strange time, some may think I shouldn't write at all right now but as I'm just sat here, waiting, I feel I should (plus I've been given permission from my sister Kellie and Rob) On Wednesday 4th February, which seems like a lifetime ago, I got a phone call to say things with Dad had took a turn and we all needed to get to the home as time was looking short. I can't explain the fear that was going through me. The panic was so strong I was physically shaking until i got to the home to see him. I had no idea what to expect, what had happened or what was going to happen, I just had to go with it. I guess we all do when faced with these extremes. I have to admit I was pretty shocked to see that once the sedation had worn off he was back to his smiley self, even dancing along to the music. But we knew it was serious when they said he was now completely nill by mouth, no food, no liquid. An influx of fa

Our story with MND so far..

6. These are my feelings and my thoughts, no one else's, just mine. In June 2013 my Dad was dealt the card of Motor Neurone Disease, a horrible disease. MND attacks the central nervous system and causes muscles to weaken and waste away. People with MND have to struggle everyday with activities that wouldn't have affected them before. It can be different with each person but sadly the outcome is always the same, there are no survivors, only true fighters! There is no cure... In some cases of MND the person can also have Frontotemporal Dementia. A less common form of dementia but nevertheless devastating. My Dad also has this... I first realised that something wasn't quite right around January 2013, my dad and I were sat in a cafe and he couldn't open a folded lottery ticket my exact words to him were "can't you use for hands or something" his reply was "no, my hand has got really weak" I asked him to make a fist with his right han

Bethlett .

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